Road Run-Over

I love my morning drive to work. Even on Mondays. I know, that's hard to believe. I love what I do for work, so going there is not an issue. And since I drive back roads to work, the commute is sweet too.

Like I said, I love my morning drive to work. Normally, it is a time for me to listen to podcasts. There are a couple of them that I reserve for the car ride, since it is there that I can devote a certain portion of my consciousness to listening. Unlike when I'm at work or home, where I find I'm DOING things that take more of my grey matter. You'd think that driving should take at least as much, but when you drive the same route over and over and over, there is a certain amount of "auto pilot" that engages.

For the most part, driving to work is an almost sedentary event.

Until one morning in particular:

I was driving to work on the 15th of October, the day after my birthday, south on Broadview Rd. I was going through Richfield, when a dog ran across the road (west to east). It missed the front passenger tire of the Jeep, but went under. I know I made contact with it (I could feel it bounce on the undercarriage). I stopped, put on the four-way lights, and backed up to where I thought I had hit it.

It was not only in the ditch, but it was still alive. It slowly turned its head, baring its teeth. I grabbed my cellphone, asked Cortana to show me the closest police departments (I never know WHERE I am), and called the Richfield police.

I gave them my name and told them I hit a dog. I told them it was like a short-haired German Shepherd, but I really don't know dogs. (I had a Papillion at one time in my life, and could recognize them instantly when they showed up in TV commercials, but asides from my boy, Butterfly, I am pretty clueless when it came to breeds.) They said they would send an officer, and if it was okay with me, to wait.

The police officer pulled up behind me with his flashers and I got out to meet him. He could tell I was a bit shook up. I walked him over to the other side of the road and pointed.

The officer said that, if it makes me feel any better, it wasn't a dog, so I didn't hit someone's pet. I hit a wild coyote. "Great," I said, "I killed Wile E. Coyote." He said that there are so many wild animals running around, that they call his police car the "Deer Killer". He asked about damage to the Jeep, but I assured him there wasn't any. It bounced off the skid plates under the vehicle. He was going to shoot it (not only was it still alive, it had turned around in the ditch) and then take care of the body.

Knowing that I didn't kill someone's pet made me feel a little better, but not much. Needless to say, I drove the rest of the way to work in silence.

My "shrine" at work:

I'm so sorry, Wile.

© Emittravel 2015

I'm Bushed: Have We Ben Trumped?

As I sit and write, the GOP Primary race is in full swing. They've already put us through a few debates, and dominated both the airwaves and social media (not to mention both our inboxes and mailboxes). The Dems had a slow start, but don't worry: we'll be pretty tired of both groups of putzes before this is all over.  And look: it is only October of 2015. We have a whole year more of these political shenanigans to go.

(I just read the above to my wife, and she said to "tell me how you really feel!")

Is it just me, or does it seem that the political race starts earlier and earlier every cycle. Pretty soon, right after the President gets sworn in, he/she will hop on Air Force One and hit the campaign trail for the next one.

Who suffers? We the People. That's who. Politicians are so full of themselves, with a lapdog "mainstream" media touting their every breath, that they think that the only thing us regular folks do is think, talk, and s**t politics.

Hate to break it to you "saviors of the people", but most of the time, we don't give a flyin' flip about you folks.

My wife and I were at a breakfast place this morning, with the corner television showing CNN, FOX, MSNBC, or some other useless channel giving us play-by-plays of the current goings on in Washington. I thought it funny. All the Instagram pics I've seen of this country's founding fathers showed them wearing white wigs. According to the cable "news" channel, every current "father" sports their OWN grey hair. This country seems to be run by a bunch of old, mostly white guys, who need a double-shot of "Just for Men".

Let me focus on the title of this post: "I'm Bushed: Have We Ben Trumped?"

The GOP has never missed an opportunity to flip the barrel of that gun around and "BLAM!!" Why, oh why, do they start their Primary race so early? The only Democrat I even heard running at the time was Hillary Clinton. Some would say we need the time to weed out the useless. Wouldn't that give us NOBODY? Last I looked, President Obama is no longer an incumbent. Don’t the Democrats need to do the same thing? But they started MUCH later.

Hey, GOP. Let me 'splain it to you. When you start so early, all you do is give the candidates time to screw up over and over and over and . . . And more than that, once the Democrats get in gear, you've given them PLENTY of fodder to work with.

And candidates. Keep in mind that a political race resembles a horse race. My wife and I love to watch the Kentucky Derby. (Yeah, check out those hats!)

From what I've seen, horses that start off in first place rarely finish in first place. The winning horse usually paces at CLOSE to the front and doesn't break out to the lead until the FINAL stretch. If they don't, they usually "wear out" well before they ever get there.

That's what happens to you. We get so tired of you shmoes that the person in the back looks so good by voting day.

Take this advice for what it's worth (you know, not a thing): Wait it out until the final couple of weeks before the Primary. THEN get in the race. C'mon! You don't NEED campaign contributions to run your campaigns (can you say, "One Percenters"?) You can fund them yourselves. And the best part is, you don't give the opposition anything to use against you. Who says that the media needs time to vet you? Oh yeah, the media. Sorry.

Oh, and there is one more way a political race is like a horse race: you always have to watch where you step!

© Emittravel 2015

Stacks o' Greenbacks

The company I work for is making a change in their payroll system effective January 2016. They are switching from an every-other-week format to a twice-a-month format (Bi-monthly? Semi-monthly? Split-infinitives-monthly? Gah!!). The new format moves us from 26 pays a year to 24. The company says this will help streamline the company's financials, and it makes sense.

The new cycle puts the pays on the 15th and 30th of the month. No, that doesn't mean that we only get paid once in February (Shhh - don't tell them! They might not have thought of that!) If the 15th or 30th (or in February's case, there isn't a 30th) falls on a weekend or holiday, the pay will hit the bank on the previous business day. So, if the 15th is a Sunday, the pay shows up on Friday the 13th ("Feelin' lucky? Punk?" - Dirty Harry).

I haven't seen that pay cycle since I was in the Navy. Back then the 15th and 30th were coveted days on the ship. Usually by the 16th, many of my shipmates were already broke (Pick a card - any card, or more accurately, "Texas Lose 'Em"). Not me. I was already establishing my life's philosophy of "I don't like kids. I don't play games. Get off my lawn!!" So card games - even for money - didn't interest me.

 
One of the more popular budgeting systems today uses an envelope system for handling money. You make an envelope for every possible expense, using cash as your primary purchasing method, and put the budgeted amount in each envelope. When I was in the Navy, I had my own envelope system. I would take the majority of my pay and have it sent home to a savings account. This was way before direct deposit systems were commonplace like they are today. So, the majority went home, and I received the remainder in singles. Yep. One dollar bills. The dispersing clerk hated me!

The first thing I'd do is set up the number of envelopes needed to get me from the 31st (or 1st, if there wasn't a 31st) to the 14th, or the 16th to the 29th; marking each envelope with the date in pencil (I was cheap and just erased the date and reused the same envelopes over and over and over). I'd take the money to my bunk, spread the envelopes out, and divide the singles among the envelopes. I then only used the money in each day's envelope for that day. If I didn't spend it all, I would take that envelope's contents and divide it among the remaining envelopes. Whatever was leftover at the end was added to that next pay and was spread out again.

The above may seem a bit overkill, but you gotta realize that I was one of the few with cash in my pocket - even if it was a sweet, sweet stack of George Washingtons. Where my shipmates tended to have less money at the end of the pay period, I'd have more.

I'm not too sure if such a system would work today. I don't get an allowance, and my wife and I share one "pot". But, if you are single, you may want to think about such a system for yourself. The other benefit was the large sum I had in the bank when I got home. Out of sight, out of mind.

Now the real question: Do you have change for a twenty?

© Emittravel 2015

What's the Big Ideal?

I have a friend who "leaks". Let me explain.

This weekend my wife and I attended the wedding of a wonderful couple: Shaun and Jessica. Lisa and I have known Shaun for a number of years. Shaun and I go back to before Lisa and I got together (over ten years ago). We've shared both times of joy and times of pain. The "highlights" and the "lowlights". Shaun is an "ideal" man. He is tall, handsome, has great hair, is physically fit, plays sports, and works hard. And he "leaks".

At one of our Memorial Day picnics, Shaun came with Jessica. Jessica. Talk about an angel. Jessica is sweet, gentle, funny, beautiful (she has the most amazing eyes), caring, and is in love with Shaun. And Shaun is in love with Jessica. Did I mention he "leaks"?

I said Shaun was the "ideal" man. In the eyes of society, he is. In my eyes, he is that and much more. Shaun is one of those rare men who is not afraid to wear his heart on his sleeve. When he is happy, he smiles so big it looks like his face would break. When he is angry, you instinctively know to give him space. And when he is in sorrow, he is not afraid to cry. And it is that unashamed ability to shed tears that makes him more than the "ideal".

What is it about tears? Why do we cry? I heard it said that the reason we do is because we are experiencing an emotion so tremendous that our very being can't contain it. And we "leak".

When the doors opened and Jessica stepped into the church, Shaun's face showed his awe, his love, and all the pent-up emotions that came to fruition at that moment.

And he "leaked".

Shaun and Jessica: May you walk each day unashamed of who you are and who you are together: never hiding what's in your hearts. May you continue to love each other with all of your beings with such intensity that those moments come when words fail. And you simply "leak". God bless you, my friends.

-j.p.

© Emittravel 2015

The Big Five-Oh

Back in August I received my first birthday card of the year. Now, two important points: One, my birthday wasn't for two months, and two, it was from AARP.

The only birthday I've ever had "difficulty" with was my thirtieth. I don't know why. I remember turning to my father and saying, "Remember when you were my age, you had me." He quickly replied, "Don't remind me." My father and I are almost exactly thirty years apart. So, that was a one-time joke.

Thirty was tough. At that point I was out of school, had served in the Navy, and was married (to my ex). We had a house, bills, and a barely paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle. I guess when I looked at it, I didn't really have much to look forward to, and a lot to look back upon. I didn't have any regrets, just a sense of loss for the big life changes that seemed to have passed.

Forty was no big deal. Just another birthday come and gone. It's supposed to be the year of "over the hill" gifts (at least that was what I see in the local Hallmark store), but I didn't feel any different. I've mentioned before that I don't really see time as having passed, since I’m always looking at the world through the same "port holes".

This year? This year I get on the AARP mailing list. Great (that's sarcasm, in case you missed it). This year I can seriously consider that more of my life has passed than is before me. The chances of reaching 100 get better and better each year (I think there are more centenarians around today than in all of recorded history), but the chances of this guy reaching it aren't as likely.

(I just read the above to my wife, because I'm a bit stuck on where to go from here. She asked a good question: "Why?" My parents are both "up there" in age, and are both doing great. They are beating the odds gracefully. So, maybe my chances are better than I thought. I have SUCH a good wife!)

I can honestly say that I’m not anxious about turning fifty. I’m loving where life has taken me, and am looking forward to the trip ahead. There are many twists and turns, hills and valleys, and highways and byways to experience. There is so much to look forward to, and I'm prepared to revel in all that life brings.

Now, if only AARP would leave me alone!

© Emittravel 2015

The Future is Now



In 1987, Alex Murphy was taking criminals "dead or alive" in "Robocop". I remember watching it for the first time (oh yeah, many times over the years) and seeing the scene in the Detroit police department locker room where both men and women were in various stages of undress (and no, I'm NOT posting a pic). The reason the scene got my attention, outside of the women in various stages of undress (I admit, I AM a straight male), was that both sexes were oblivious to the fact that the opposite sex was there in various stages of undress. I'll say that again: they were oblivious to the fact. It was normal. Just another day. And I wondered: what would it take to get us from "here" to "there"?

What I mean by "here" is a society that still has difficulty with male and female equality in all of its various forms (think "equal pay", for example), dress codes that determine the length of a woman's skirt and whether or not a man wears a necktie, and what gender "Pat" is.

Then one day it hit me. I finally figured out that unknown bridge: transgenderism.

Transgender people are throwing all kinds of confusion into "normal" society. Recently, an elementary school hit the news because a boy, who has determined himself to be a girl, has decided that she didn't want to use the teachers' or unisex bathroom, but decided to use the girls' bathroom. Both students and parents were up in arms, and the school made the statement that students are to use bathrooms that match their "plumbing" (my word, not theirs). I know of a business where an employee who presents himself as female, wants to use the ladies restroom as well. That business determined that if the employee is presenting himself/herself as a certain gender, they are able to use the bathroom that coincides with said gender. Part of the decision was based on the fact that the toilets are in stalls with doors, and the urinals have dividers (and I have never seen, in all my 49+ years, another male attempt to look past the divider - ever!): no one sees anyone in any form of undress. And does anyone really care the gender of the person at the next sink washing their hands? Hell, I'm just happy when people wash their hands. Of course, that business hasn't determined locker room/shower room use, but they will have to address it soon.

Having the opposite sex "invade" your bathroom is nothing new. Anyone who has been to a concert at the former Richfield Coliseum (I saw my first concert, Billy Joel - from A Piano Man to An Innocent Man - at that coliseum) has seen women skip the long lines for the ladies' room and grab a stall in the men's room. We guys noticed, but again, the stalls had doors. But now, that "invasion" is starting to become the "norm". (I noticed that I use a lot of quotation marks in my blogs. I wonder what the significance of "that" is . . . )

So for good or ill, trans genders are here to stay, so society needs to adjust.

According to an article by Jocelyne Zablit, "a California elementary school has become one of the first in the country to phase out gendered bathrooms". They are not adding a unisex bathroom; they are getting rid of those male and female silhouette-signed bathrooms.

Society is beginning to adjust.

Ally McBeal was the first to address a unisex bathroom (that I'm aware of), and that was back in the late 1990s. It was a novel idea that became a mainstay in the course of the series. And as has been said, good fiction soon becomes fact.

So, the future is now. We are slowly setting aside our long-held "hang ups" (there are those damn quotation marks again) and are beginning to allow the natural progression of society to become whatever it decides to be. And I think that is a good thing.

First unisex bathrooms, and next: silver jumpsuits!

  

(The above video is a clip from the 2002 Simon Wells film, "The Time Machine". That's right, Simon Wells: the great-grandson of H.G. Wells, the author of the book of the same name.)

© Emittravel 2015

Stuff My Brain Says #75

Flip Wilson is famous for the line, "The Devil made me do it". Many Christians also believe the devil talks to them. I believe God speaks to us via His Holy Spirit. The devil, not having a similar representation of himself, does not speak to us in the same manner. The devil is neither omniscient, omnipotent, nor omnipresent. Most of those "negative" voices we hear are our own, influenced by our fallen nature and sin. Others are memories of things spoken to us by people from our past.

Christians need to stop giving the devil more power than he already has. That may be useful to fire up a congregation to throw more in the offering plate, but it's not valid.

© Emittravel 2015