Not much has changed for me concerning my post-sabbatical journey. I no longer attend the church I had been a member of for more years than I can count off the top of my head. That’s not new. I read the bible a lot less than I did, mainly due to its standing in my life. That’s not new either. And I try to take religion a whole lot less seriously than I did before. And that’s not new either.
I guess what has changed is that I’ve grown comfortable. I don’t feel that my “radical” beliefs are all that radical anymore, and that I can and do “fellowship” with other Christians in a straightforward, honest, and still loving manner. I don’t have the nagging feeling that the other shoe is going to drop and I’m going to find myself in a spiritual tailspin (I know I’m mixing metaphors, but bear with me.)
Part of that is most likely due to the generous acceptance of some friends who have welcomed me into their group (worship team). You see, the one thing I never lost before, during, and after my sabbatical is my desire to worship God. Even though I don’t believe the bible to be a co-equal member of the Godhead anymore, I still desire to give honor and praise unto the One who holds all of existence in His hands. For many years I’ve played harmonica, percussion, and provided bass harmonies in a worship environment. Leaving that former church left me without the avenue to express my love for God with those “gifts”. And again, thanks to the generous acceptance of some friends, I have again the ability to do just that.
Does that mean I am once again in full attendance at a church? No. These friends have accepted me where I am and allow me to join them whenever I can. At the moment that is about once a month. Sometimes more, but pretty much just that. I don’t think it will ever become a weekly thing again. And to be honest, I really don’t think I could go back to a weekly thing anymore.
Unlike the hip-hop group Public Enemy who said, “Don’t Believe the Hype”, Americans - and much of the world for that matter - bent over backwards when it came to the presidency of Barack Obama.
Before you start thinking this is going to be an anti-Obama / pro-Trump piece, relax; I voted for Gary Johnson. And no, I didn’t give the election to Donald Trump by denying Hillary Clinton the election. I’m from Cuyahoga County (Cleveland, OH), and this county went Clinton. My vote wouldn’t have changed anything, even if I would have voted for Trump.
What I want to talk about is “hype”.
I recently posted on Twitter: “Now that Obama's time is over, can we all get back to NOT worshipping 1/3 of the government? #reality”.
Actually, even prior to President Obama, there has been an almost obvious worship of the Office of the President. What we forget is that the President is only 1/3 of the government (remember the Legislative and Judicial branches?) and that his/her power is limited.
Because of that worship, the election process has turned from looking for the best person to hold this temp job, to looking for a messiah to deliver us from all our ills. And that, my friends, is our fault.
“If you hadn't elevated the office of POTUS to king/lord/savior of the world, the transition to someone you dislike would be MUCH easier.” - me
President Obama was not a terrible president. Nor was he the best. At most I’d call him mediocre. He went in with the best of intentions, but found out that the Washington establishment was a little too thick in the skull to listen to “reason”. Unfortunately, the American people and even the rest of the world, were looking for Hyperborea and figured he would be the One to lead us to it.
Remember, there was so much hype around President Obama, that the Nobel Committee bestowed on him the Nobel Peace Prize - not for anything he had done, but for the POTENTIAL of what he would do.
And President Obama fed the hype: “...I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on Earth.”
It was believed that because of President Obama, a.k.a. “The first black President”:
the racial divide would dissolve, the economy would thrive, and the world would reach an age of peace (a.k.a. “Aquarius”). Instead, though there was a statistical decrease, there was an increase in reports of blacks being shot by white police officers;
the unemployment rate was the lowest it’s been since before the recession - if you, like the media and the White House, discount the large number of individuals either working at jobs paying far less than before the recession, or are no longer eligible to receive unemployment and therefore no longer counted;
and the American military was fighting more war fronts than the peak of the Bush/Cheney war machine years.
I wonder if the Nobel Committee wants their money back.
And now? We have Donald Trump. We don’t need the media to hype him; he is doing that plenty well on his own. Will he be a good President? For the sake of the country, I hope so. At worst, I can only hope he is also mediocre.
I think it would be best if we and the Office of the President followed the words of Christina Aguilera: "I don't want to believe my own hype."
I had the opportunity to attend a bat mitzvah. A truly wonderful ceremony. Similar to a bar mitzvah (Jewish "coming of age" for boys), a bat mitzvah (for girls) celebrates a person's fully becoming a member of the Jewish community. If you have never had the opportunity to attend one, I encourage you to.
One thing I noticed during the ceremony is that the Jewish faith has three major focuses: (in order of their presentation) Tradition, the Torah, and God. Unlike my Protestant-type experiences, which tend to elevate the whole bible as the "Word" and an object of worship, the Jewish faith focuses on the traditions of the past and the Torah - the first five books of the bible (a.k.a. "The Law"). At one point in the ceremony, the doors in the back of the main platform are opened and the Torah is presented. They take it out and carry it up and down the aisles, where people will reach forth and touch it with their books, and then touch the books to their lips in adoration. It is not done solemnly, but with great joy. In their readings and prayers (mostly in Hebrew), you hear the word "Torah" about as often as "Adonai" (God).
Do you like to collect things? I think it's a pretty common affair. I, for one, collect books (fiction and nonfiction) and movies that focus on time and time travel. My wife collects movies she thinks will make me cry. Some folks collect stamps. Others collect comics. Some even go as far as collect figurines (or, as some like to call them, "action figures" - though, since they don't move, I don't comprehend the "action" part.)
We, as humans, like to collect things. As George Carlin once said (not a quote - this is from memory): "A house is a place to store your stuff. The bigger the house, the more the stuff. The more the stuff, the bigger the house." And boy do we like our stuff. We find comfort in our stuff. We find security in our stuff. Don't believe me? Go on vacation and forget to pack something.
It's not easy to get rid of our stuff either. We find comfort in the tangible. I am in the process of ripping (AGAIN - higher bitrate) my entire collection of CDs and then GETTING RID OF THEM! Okay, not all of them. I'm keeping box sets. And live albums. And those autographed by the artist. And special local ones you won't find on eBay or Amazon. But aside from those, I'm getting rid of them! Okay, it's not easy. I know I'll have them in a digital format on my local hard drive, and on a backup hard drive in a fire-proof safe, and on a server somewhere in the cloud, but it feels odd to let go of the physical CDs. Why? Because we, as humans, find comfort and security in our physical stuff.
And we always have. Go back far enough in history and you'll find people with little statues of wood or stone that represented their gods, and they worshipped them! Then one day a guy named Moses is out looking for a killer way to roast his bag of marshmallows, and meets a God (who ironically is talking to him out of said "killer marshmallow roaster") who tells him not to make similar statues to represent Him. He said He is the God who created heaven and earth, and cannot be represented by insignificant objects of man's hands.
So what do we have today? Statues and rosaries and crosses and altars and prayer shawls and bibles and the Torah and grilled cheese sandwiches that look like Jesus that we consider as "holy", and we worship them.
I wonder what God thinks about us, when we focus on objects to represent Him. It's not like He ever said anything about that (check out numero uno on His Top Ten list [Exodus 20:3-5]).
So, like Gollum, what do you consider "my precious"?
Occasionally, there is a knock on the door - usually the front - and my wife answers it. Standing before her are usually two nicely-dressed individuals, with the purpose of introducing her to the ways of their religion. She smiles politely and says, "I'm sorry, but my husband is a minister at our church and we are happy in our faith." That is usually enough for the two nicely-dressed individuals to turn and head for the next-door neighbor's front door.
"A minister at our church." The reason she would say that is that, because I am on the worship team - in the "music ministry" - I am therefore a "minister". I'm neither licensed nor ordained, yet, I AM a minister by association. I like that.
As I've mentioned in a previous blog, I believe I am coming to the end of my sabbatical. The question remains: where do I go from here?
During this time of separation, I've visited a friend's church where I've had the opportunity to join in on their worship team, and have visited my "home" church a few times (worshipped from in the congregation and departed prior to the sermon). I have continued to read the bible (not as intensely as before) and assorted devotionals, so I haven't gone "cold-turkey Christianity".
Here is my conundrum: Can one be involved in a church ministry, when one disagrees with a major belief of that church?
I don't know when it started, but at one point the pastor of my church started praying the following when praying with those who wanted to become Christians: ". . . and I will attend Your church, and I will read Your book." That statement may indeed have been the proverbial straw for me. Taking it from the viewpoint of the person standing before him, "Your church" sounds an awful lot like THIS particular church is Your church - and that is bad enough. The part that hit me the most was the "I will read Your book" part. My church, like many Protestant style churches, teaches that the bible is the Word of God. As I've stated previously, I've come to the conclusion (and fervent belief) that the bible CONTAINS the Word of God, but is NOT, in and of itself, THE Word of God.
(You can go back and read some of my recent blogs and see some of the details of that statement, so I'm not going to take up too much space here.)
There used to be this cute acronym made from the letters of "bible": Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. You'd see it on bumper stickers, t-shirts, and, of course, bible covers (gotta protect that faux-leather cover). The first I heard of it was back in 1998. It was a song by a Christian band called Burlap to Cashmere. I don't know if they were the ones to coin it, but they were the source to my ears. Being one who also believed that the bible was part of the "Holy Quartet", I reveled in the cleverness.
During a breakfast conversation about this with my wife, I got to thinking: It's called "Basic Instructions". Not "Critical Instructions", or "Intricate Instructions", or "Complete Instructions". "Basic Instructions". My Jeep has an owner's manual. Every time I read it (no really, I DO read it), I get some good tips on how to make my Jeep experience more efficient and enjoyable. It does NOT contain the complete details of every aspect of the Jeep experience. You have to "experience" it (and, if you haven't, do yourself a favor and DRIVE one!! Oh wow!) Yet, there is this "doctrine" that the bible contains the complete, inerrant word of God, and there is nothing else needed. You can find all the answers to this life in it. As Colonel Potter used to say, "Horse hockey!" It's a guide. In it you can find the stories of a lot of other people's experiences in their walk (a.k.a. "relationship") with God, and those things can help you as well. But it is a guide.
So, is it even possible to go back into the music ministry of the church that I disagree with on this? I still love God. I'm a Christian. I just won't put the "Basic Instructions" over that experiential relationship. I guess the question is, what does it take to be a Christian? Belief in Jesus the Christ, or belief in the bible?
I fall into the Trinitarian viewpoint concerning God. Discussions of the Trinity have a tendency to either create deep conversations, or a glazed panic to fall over an individual's eyes. Not surprising, as the idea of a triune Godhead fills some folks with complete bewilderment.
Putting it simply, the basic viewpoint of the Trinity is one God represented in three separate and distinct individuals. Not three separate gods. One God, but three representations. You have the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit (or Holy Ghost), all functioning in three different roles, but as one entity.
I think the best explanation I've ever heard was the simplest, and it came from a comedian named Mike Warnke. He said that understanding the Trinity was as simple as cherry pie. Now, a good cherry pie is runny in the middle, with a light and flaky crust on top. If you have ever had such a pie, you know that if you try to remove a slice, you have to WHIP the piece from the pie pan to your plate, or the filling falls out. Now, take a freshly-made cherry pie, take a knife, and make three slices - or, slice the pie into three pieces. When you look at the crust, you can see three separate pieces of pie, but the runny filling inside moves back and becomes essentially one pie inside. Three pieces - one pie. Same with the Godhead. One God, in three separate "pieces". Why? Mike's reasoning was that we finite individuals couldn't swallow that pie whole, so we have to take Him in slices. Simple as cherry pie.
(I love that analogy, though I have to admit: I really don't like cherry pie! Not enough ice cream in the world . . . )
Some Christians have gone beyond the Trinity to the worship of the "Holy Quartet": the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Bible. They have placed the bible on equal footing as God. I've even heard people take "The bible says it, I believe it, and that settles it," to the extreme of "The bible says it, and that settles it whether I believe it or not," and that is dangerous. It's "the word of God" this, and "the word of God" that. They put so much emphasis on "the word" that they miss the meaning of it. The "word" is not the bible. The bible does not refer to itself as "the word".
There are two commonly used Greek words for "word" in the New Testament (you know, the part written in Greek): logos - the sum total of God, and rhema - the word of God expressed. Many Christians take the word "logos" to mean the bible. Unfortunately, that is a bit off base.
"In the beginning was the Word and the Word was WITH God and the Word WAS God. HE was in the beginning WITH God." (John 1:1 NKJV - emphasis mine)
"And the Word became FLESH and dwelt among us, and we beheld HIS glory, the glory as of the ONLY BEGOTTEN of the Father, full of grace and truth." (John 1:14 NKJV - emphasis mine)
Seems pretty straight forward to me that John was referring to Jesus as "the word", and not the yet-to-be-written-and-compiled-into-a-leather-bound-book known as the bible. The word "word" used is logos. What was the definition? The sum total of God. Jesus is the sum total of God according to John, not the bible. As an exercise, look up the Greek word for "word" when you come across it in the bible. If it is the word logos, substitute it with "Jesus". But be prepared for your bible-worship theology to be shaken.
As I sense my sabbatical drawing to a close, I felt it worthwhile to get at least one more blog written concerning bible worship. I've grappled with "intellectual Christianity" - the impetus for the sabbatical (why I couldn't sit through anymore sermons, for instance) - and have come to the conclusion that it is not necessarily discussions of Christianity or religion, but misplaced worship of the bible in Christianity that has pushed me away. Now I need to determine if I am ready to once again attend church on a regular basis. I've gone back to my "home church" several times as of late, but have left after the worship has taken place (at the beginning our services). I've visited the church of some long-time friends and played with their music team - and have NOT left afterwards (I'm a guest - that would be RUDE!) I find I'm not squirming in my seat as much, but do find I have to focus. I also am trying to not get so disturbed when I hear references made as to the bible's importance. You know, being more "tolerant" of other people's beliefs (even if I disagree with them).
As I have written before, I believe the bible CONTAINS the words of God, but is not of itself THE word of God. That honor belongs to THE word of God: Jesus.
Remember: The Godhead is a trinity. If you want a quartet, go to a barbershop.
Today I went to church. Being a Sunday (the day I'm writing this blog), I'm sure that comes as no surprise to a lot of my readers. But if you have been reading for a while, you know that I've been on a sabbatical for the last several months. I had a lady ask me this morning what church I've been going to, since I haven't been around, and I told her "None. I'm on a sabbatical." That, of course produced a puzzled look, but that's expected. More on the sabbatical later.
I got to the church early. As I was walking from my Jeep to the building, I could hear the music team rehearsing. I found a seat in front, stage right (as a former theater person, "stage right" is the right side of the stage, from the perspective of the actors ON the stage looking out at the audience. Since the stage directions are normally for those ON the stage, this makes sense.). I wanted to be there early enough to be there for the rehearsal. I didn't think I'd have the opportunity to actually join the team; I just wanted to be there and "absorb" as much of the praise and worship as possible.
Outside of a few interruptions of people stopping to say hello and ask where I've been - both during the rehearsal and during the actual music portion of the service - I was able to focus on praising and worshipping God.
For the non-Christian, the terms "praise" and "worship" may be a bit confusing. Simplified, "praise" is the jump/shout/dance/run-about portion of the music. It is usually the part where you are expressing your joy of the one you are praising. "Worship", on the other hand, is usually quieter, more tender, and is an expression of adoration. There are times during worship when one may experience an almost tangible feeling of "presence". Usually, it takes "praise" to shed the stresses of the week, and allow one to open oneself to the possibility of getting close to God.
After the music portion, the minister welcomes newcomers, and then there is a period of fellowship, which I like to call the "meet and greet". This is where everybody goes around hugging and shaking hands. I took this as a good time to make my exit.
The sabbatical started initially as my taking a break from "intellectual Christianity". The church I've belonged to for many years refers to itself as a "Family Church, Charismatic Teaching Center, and a World Outreach". I wanted to make my next sentence "There is a heavy emphasis on the 'Teaching Center'," but that would be in error. The church does do a pretty good job of balancing the three, it's just that the sermons, by default, tend to fall heavy into the teaching portion. And that's where I've had to step away, for the health of my Christianity.
And I wasn't alone. Most of the Christians I hung around with followed this same "adoration" of the bible. Since it was considered "The Word of God", it was equal to God.
As I've stated in a previous blog, I have come to believe that the bible CONTAINS the Word of God, but is NOT in and of itself THE Word of God. And I don't think I'm alone. Even St. John (the writer of the Gospel of John, 1 John, 2 John, and 3 John) stated "I had many things to write, but I will not with ink and pen write unto thee: But I trust I shall shortly see thee, and we shall speak face to face." (3 John 13). If John, who was called "the one Jesus loved" in the Gospel of John, and the only one of the twelve at the cross (who got protective guardianship of Jesus' mother) didn't think it valuable enough to WRITE down what he wanted to say (scriptures that are considered holy and inerrant), does it not reason that the bible is not the complete "Word of God"? I mean, weren't those things he did NOT write have equal value to what he DID write?
"And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written. Amen." (Gospel of John 21:25)
Back in 2011, I wrote a blog entitled "Why Muslims Should be America's Biggest Supporters", where I give three possibilities as to why the United States does not show up in the "end times" scriptures of the bible. Those three are The Rapture takes place, economic collapse, and massive terrorist attacks beyond the scope of 9/11. For details, please refer to that blog.
There is one other possibility, that previous to my current sabbatical, I didn't even consider: the bible is written entirely concerning a smallish and specific region of the world. This means that the writers did not even consider the possibility of other lands across the oceans that could be inhabited - especially inhabited with people who would be of major impact upon world events.
Why is this significant? IF the bible is without error, containing what has been called "God-breathed" words, how did these prophetic writings, that apparently reflect so much detail of future events, completely miss the existence of the United States? This means either these writings are not as inspired as many Christians (those I would term "bible worshippers") claim, or that they are being given far more weight than intended when written.
Maybe this is due to the elevation of the bible, and other religious books, beyond their initial intentions. As I've stated before, the bible is NOT the Word of God, but it does CONTAIN the Word of God. I find it funny that many Christians elevate the bible to something so inerrant, that it is practically worshipped, but when faced with statements that are difficult to swallow (like women needing to keep silent in church [1 Corinthians 14:34]) they quickly point out that those focus on the "culture of the times" and that they are not relevant for today.
I guess the bible is true and inerrant, except when it is not.
Or, just maybe, the book was not designed to have every little thing made into a doctrine (I'm talking to you, Faith, Word, Healing, and Prosperity preachers).
I am personally appalled at the atrocities against human life that have taken place over slights to the Koran and its content. I say this as a human being. I cannot say that hiding behind my Christianity. I cannot because Christians have used the bible in order to commit similar atrocities in the church's history (e.g., The Spanish Inquisition). Sometimes religion (of any stripe) goes so far away from its inception, to the point where its followers become an embarrassment to the God they claim to follow. Sometimes I think that Islam is simply going through its "Inquisition" stage - not all those following Islam plan on strapping a bomb to themselves . . .
Years ago, a minister named Kenneth Hagin made a comment that the Christian church goes to such extremes that it finds itself in either one ditch or the other, never seeming to stay in the middle of the road very long. Even though he was the leading voice of the Name-it-claim-it faith movement (clearly nestled in one of the ditches), I have to say that he was on to something there.
Extremes. That seems to sum up us humans pretty well. We go all in on the things that we are drawn to. Some are simply more culturally acceptable than others. For instance, thanks to recent Marvel movies, being a comic book geek is not such a weird thing anymore. Those people have moved out of their parents' basements and now are filling convention centers to beyond capacity. Are they extremists? In a sense, yes. But they are acceptable extremists.
As a person on a sabbatical from "intellectual Christianity", I find myself reflecting on what brought me to where I am. I also find I'm hypersensitive to the extremes. Maybe it's my fear of finding myself in one of the ditches again.
I used to be in one ditch as a youth. I was, what I considered, a devout Catholic. I was an altar boy. I read my father's prayer book (including the Latin - which was indecipherable to me) over and over. As I grew older, I joined the music team at the church - making up tenor harmonies as a 14-year old in a then-contemporary guitar group. Even after becoming a born-again Christian (which could be considered an extreme by some), I still attended the Catholic church for awhile.
As I mentioned above, I was what I considered a devout Catholic. Recently, my wife and I had an experience with a REALLY devout Catholic that ended up spawning this particular post.
Since I started this sabbatical, my wife has chosen to go to a local Catholic church. In their bulletin was a blurb asking for donations of gently-used Catholic items. There is a Catholic book/gift store that was accepting these donations. My wife had some that travelled from her condo to our house that never really got out of the boxes. We gathered them up and went to drop them off. There we met a lady on staff who believed every person who walked in was straight from the Vatican in their devotion to Catholicism. We certainly didn't fit the description, but she didn't know that. She talked about Saint This and Sister So-and-So, and showed us books from authors I've never heard of. They might as well have been bloggers! (Oh, wait.)
As we were trying to leave, she kept bringing up more and more things that might interest. The last was to point out the state banner of Mary (apparently, every state has one for their individual state). If we wanted to, we were encouraged to bring in our rosaries so that we could touch them to the banner and receive a special blessing.
It was a bit muddy in that ditch.
On the Protestant side, as I've made known in previous blogs, we have the worship of the bible. Just because you put the word "Holy" on the cover, does not automatically make it an object of worship. I believe that the bible CONTAINS the word of God, but it is NOT the word of God. There are many things in there that are clearly historical in nature, and statements made by the writers that tell you what you are reading is their opinion and not that of the Lord. (For example, the tradition of dedicating children instead of baptizing them is based on something Paul said, and not the Lord - 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 NKJV)
There is a passage in the epistles (2 Timothy) that says all scripture is given by inspiration of God. This is one of those passages that I hear quoted to prove that the whole bible is inspired of God, and therefore worthy of the title of "Holy". I like to point out that when Paul wrote that letter to Timothy, he was not referring to the letter he was writing as scripture! That's a lot of hutzpah! In actuality, whenever "scripture" is referenced in the New Testament, what is referred to is the OLD Testament. That was all they had! They had no idea that what they were writing was going to be compiled into a book.
So, on one side you have the worship of the bible - that everything in it is pure, inerrant, and holy, and on the other you have touching rosaries to pictures of Mary to get blessings - which is found NOWHERE in the bible.
Extremism is found on both sides of the aisle, for sure. It's easy to go from one side to the other. If man says it, most likely it has an agenda and is full of error. Think of the extreme sides when it comes to climate change, evolution, religious beliefs, politics, and whether or not coffee (chocolate, or eggs) is good for you.
So in closing, consider taking a spiritual Breathalyzer, try to walk the line, and stay out of the ditches!
(The title is inspired from Johnny Cash's "I Walk the Line" - "I keep a close watch on this heart of mine. I keep my eyes wide open all the time. … I walk the line.")
I wanted to follow up on a comment I made on my last blog ("You Don't Say!"). It was rather in passing, and was actually added during the final read through. "NOTHING like worshipping with live music." Even though I was there in spite of my sabbatical, I didn't want to miss the opportunity to worship with the music team I was so fond of playing (harmonica, percussion, and vocals) with - even if was not "with" them, but in the congregation.
Worshipping God at home has two disadvantages: the songs on the recordings are usually pitched in a way that my harmonicas seem out of tune, and, more importantly to me, there are no words projected on the screen. Ours is a church without hymnals. We use PowerPoint projected on the wall/screen at the back of the platform for the congregation. There is a duplicate projection on the back wall (for the singers on the music team, and so the preacher can see where he/she is at during the sermon by which slide is being projected). Since I am normally adding harmonica (can't sing while playing) or percussion (can't sing while playing - I come from a predominantly Caucasian family, and we all know white guys have no rhythm. How many people you know COUNT while playing a tambourine?!?), I really don't know the words to the songs. So, singing them at home I find myself mumbling my way through them.
One of the things I've been noticing during my sabbatical is that a lot of the music we use for praise and worship is "I" focused. "My God, is an awesome God. He reigns, from heaven above." "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, and now am found. Was blind, but now I see."
During my visit we sang one where I found myself changing the lyrics part of the way through. Here is the original:
"My God is awesome, He can move mountains Keep me in the valley, hide me from the rain My God is awesome, heals me when I'm broken Strength where I've been weakened, forever He will reign
(repeat)
My God is awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome My God is awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome
My God is awesome, Savior of the whole world Giver of salvation, by His stripes I am healed My God is awesome, today I am forgiven His grace is why I'm living, praise His holy name
My God is awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome My God is awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome
My God is awesome, He can move mountains Keep me in the valley, hide me from the rain My God is awesome, heal me when I'm broken Strength where I've been weakened, Praise His holy name"
First off, I want to say that is a wonderful song. I add a bass harmony at church, some simple cabasa percussion, and find I can't keep my feet still. I'm not dissing it. But I want you to go back and look at the pronouns. God is referenced as the third party "He", whereas the focus of the song is in actuality in the possessive "My". "I want to tell you that it is MY God that is awesome. MY God moves mountains. MY God heals ME when I'M broken. You should praise His holy name."
Is that the focus of worship? It's one thing to sing a song like this in front of an audience, but when you are leading the congregation in worship, the focus should be on God, not on my telling you about Him. The desire is to have the congregation sing WITH you in worship, not listen to you.
Next time you are worshipping, try changing the pronouns and give Him the honor He deserves.
Oh God You're awesome, You can move mountains You keep me in the valley, hide me from the rain Oh God You're awesome, You heal me when I'm broken Strength where I've been weakened, forever You will reign
(repeat)
Oh God You're awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome Oh God You're awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome
Oh God You're awesome, Savior of the whole world Giver of salvation, by Your stripes I am healed Oh God You're awesome, today I am forgiven Your grace is why I'm living, praise Your holy name
Oh God You're awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome Oh God You're awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome
Oh God You're awesome, You can move mountains You keep me in the valley, hide me from the rain Oh God You're awesome, You heal me when I'm broken Strength where I've been weakened, Praise You're holy name
Change the focus and make the worship conversational. After all, you are worshipping Him. And He IS awesome.
It's been a week since I started the sabbatical (see "Hey Babe: Take a Walk on the Quiet Side"). I figured I'd provide a few observations, and ask a small favor from you. I have a wonderful wife, where many of the observations come through conversations with her. She IS the source for most in my life. As I write this, it is currently 16:45 on a Sunday. Our cat, Harley, is acting extra mischievous and finicky. My wife figured out it was after 16:00 and he was desiring his afternoon snack - something I'm prone to overlook. She is gifted, I tell ya!
She reminded me of something I've asked her in the past when it came to Lent. Most people who observe Lent, do that by giving up something - hopefully of value to them. For me, giving up Brussels sprouts would be the perfect option, except for the fact that I won't eat them at any time (Yick!). My question is not what one is giving up, but with what is one replacing that thing? The replacement is supposed to help provide focus during this season. For instance: give up video games and provide care for an elderly neighbor. So she wanted to know, since I've "given up church", with what am I replacing it?
(Side note: I wrote an email to the couple who have been leading the worship team for the last year so that they would know what was going on - I really don't know who actually reads this blog! In the email I stated that I was taking a sabbatical from "intellectual Christianity". I think that best sums it up.)
I told her that the observation of Lent was based on religious practice. Most people will only do such an act during the Lenten season. Once it is over, they're done. I did not approach this sabbatical based on a religious practice. Actually, this is more of a pressure release valve. I needed to walk away before I found myself in a more precarious position in my faith.
She then asked me how I will know when/if this sabbatical will be over.
I told her that it would probably be similar to how I knew to take the sabbatical. This was a slow build up over time. I knew when it was time to start. I'm figuring that it will end in a similar fashion.
I purchased a bite guard about a month ago. It's a small device that keeps your teeth from grinding together at night. I decided to purchase one because I found that when I woke up in the morning, I wasn't able to bite down - put my teeth together - without extreme pain. As I mentioned in "Pleased to Meet You, Hope You Guess My Name", grinding my teeth will culminate in severe headaches that wake me up at night. My wife noticed that once I came to this decision concerning the sabbatical, I haven't used the bite guard. This has apparently been a source of stress - stress that manifests itself in the grinding of my teeth. Another sign that this has been a good decision.
Which brings me back to her last/first question: Since I'm not going to be attending church for now, with what am I going to replace it?
I told her the one thing that I'm going to miss the most during this sabbatical is worship. I'm an advocate of, but a terrible representation of, private worship. I need to keep that focus in my life. My wife wants to support me in this, and suggested going somewhere on Sundays to remove distractions and meditate. That's one method.
The other method brings me to the favor. We have a large music library. So large, that there is no way we could actually listen to it all over the course of a year (you know, during times of consciousness). I listen to little-to-no radio because of it. Here's the kicker: the majority of that collection came from referrals. And that's where I need you. Our collection is quite weak when it comes to "worship" music. We have quite a bit of "Christian" music, but most does not bring one into a state of focus upon God (you know, "worship").
Would you take a moment and provide me music that you find helps you focus on God? I'm looking for artist names, song titles, and even whole CD titles (yeah, I still purchase physical media!). This request is not just for those Christian friends of mine. If there is music that you find brings you into a meditative state, that helps you focus on the "other", the less-about-you, I would love to know that too.
You can let me know easiest as a response to this blog in Facebook or Twitter (Twitter is the best - @nocturnecsh). Or, if you already have my email address, please feel free to drop me an email. I'm hoping to do some shopping soon, so your help is greatly appreciated.
So in answer to the title of this blog ("Where Do We Go From Here?" - taken from the Alan Parson's song, "Games People Play"), I think that a stepping away from the "intellectual", and a stepping toward solitude and devoted worship is where I'm headed.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog called "Oh to be Ignorant", where I shared my desire to step back from the painting, stop staring at the brush strokes, and take in the whole "picture" of God. I wanted to share what has happened since, to let you know where that blog has taken me, and the uncertainty of where I'm going.
(If you haven't read "Oh to be Ignorant", please take a moment to read it before going on - it will help you understand what follows.)
My wife described what I've been feeling as "burn out". I think she's right. I'm not burned out on God, though. I’m burned out on the brush strokes - the driveway. To misquote Festus to Paul, "Much learning is driving you mad!" (Acts 26:24b NKJV) This is not something new. One of the symptoms of my burn out has been the complete emptiness I've been experiencing sitting through sermons over the last several months. Yes, I said "several". This is not new to me. Again, the sermons have been of high caliber - perhaps too high.
Last week everything came to a head. When we woke up Sunday morning, I told my wife that I just wanted to skip church. She said we should go - since it was a guest minister. I told her I "knew" what he was going to preach on (it was announced the previous Sunday), and I didn't want to go. We went anyway. After the service she said to me, "Halfway through I realized you were right." As a husband, I find those words don't come very often!!
The topic was "Healing Generational Issues". He pulled passages from Lamentations, Exodus, and Jeremiah (all Old Testament) to show where generational curses (sins of the fathers being passed down to the sons) is both acknowledged and contradicted. He then went on to show how the paradox (his word - used incorrectly I might add) can be reconciled. At one point I pulled up John 9:1-3 (New Testament) on my tablet and showed it to my wife. The passage is a discussion between Jesus and His disciples right after He heals a blind man. They ask him "who sinned? He or his parents?" Jesus replies "Neither!" Which, to me, totally wipes out this guy's total sermon. Also, not only does the passage contradict his entire sermon, there is no instance - that I've seen - where Jesus breaks a generational "curse".
He also brought up the "value" of praying in "The name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth Who came in the flesh". In other words, praying in the name of Jesus was not sufficient for this type of prayer. I concluded that this guy was a moron. So much for the value of a minister who has the title "Dr." in front of his name. Besides, I heard this kind of "preaching" back in the 1990s. We were right back to the Name-it-Claim-it-You-can-have-what-you-say-Positive-Speaking baloney that was so prevalent back then.
I spent the rest of the sermon catching up my journal - trying to ignore the blather.
During breakfast (a common thing for my wife and I to do after church) we had the discussion that culminated in a decision. A decision that some of my church friends may not agree with. I decided that I needed to take a break from church. Not God. Church. We call it taking a "sabbatical". I'm not church hopping. At this point I have no expectation of permanently leaving the church I attend. I just have no intention of attending ANY church. I will miss worshipping God in church - since I have NO qualms concerning the praising of God. I just can't go from worship-to-the-offering-to-the-car in good conscience.
I needed to tell someone at the church my decision. I didn't want to be one of those people that you suddenly realized disappeared - you know the ones, where you really can't remember the last time you saw them. And since I've been a member of the worship team for a long time, it was prudent that I told someone in leadership. I contacted the person who has led the worship team, the person I've been able to share concerns with over the years, and met him for dinner. He said that he understood my decision, said we needed to keep in communication (a.k.a. "accountability"), and that he would let the rest of the church staff know.
After dinner we went to the church - he went to make sure it was unlocked. I wanted to remove all of my equipment. There are too many idle hands that mess with things that aren't theirs. I packed up my Jeep, turned off the lights in the sanctuary (with a quick prayer) and went home.
And it's done. How long will this sabbatical last? I have no idea. I know that I'm going to do my best to step back and get as far away from the brush strokes as I can.
If anyone asks, tell them I'm taking a walk on the quiet side.
On the drive to work, listening to podcasts and worship music (the practice songs for this coming Sunday), I found that I was angry and bitter about the news this morning. I had rants going on, some in my head, some verbal, concerning the end of the Republican "ideal" - that being limited government, less spending, and a strong standing in the world - amongst other things.
And then the Holy Spirit gently, as He always does, spoke to me. I turned off the audio system and prayed. The reason I felt so angry and bitter concerning this was that, for the majority of the last four years, I have NOT prayed for those in authority over me. The fault for my feelings is not external, it is internal. If I would have been praying more, and bitching less, I would have faced the outcome - no matter what it was - with peace.
Should I have been concerned during the last four years? Yes. Should I have voiced my opinion? In both conversations and my blog. Should I have strived for what I thought was right? Absolutely. But I should have ALSO prayed.
So, "Lord, I pray for those in authority over me - at the city, state, and national levels. Give them wisdom. Give them an ear to listen to Your voice. Give them a heart willing to be led by Righteousness. Protect them and their families. And Lord, give them Your peace."
