Quit Playing With Yourself and Drive!!

Not sure about you, but as I traverse the highways and biways of our great land, I notice that more and more people are driving with one hand on the steering wheel and their eyes focused on their laps.

I ride a motorcycle (as much as Ohio weather permits). Seeing the above has the unfortunate result of my butt cheeks firmly grasping the seat.

Did you know that all citizens of Israel have to spend approximately two years in national military service? Not only does that provide support for the security of the country, but it also provides some great skills: weapons handling, critical thinking, and a better sense of alertness for life happening around you.

Makes me think that everyone should be required to obtain a motorcycle license and drive one before/along with an automobile license. This would provide some great skills as well. Primarily, an alertness for life happening around you and a RESPECT for others on the road. As a rider, you are very alert of those around you who are not.

Officer: I pulled you over because you are driving recklessly. You are sitting at traffic lights after they go green so long that cars behind you are honking. That increases road rage, which leads to accidents. You are also drifting outside of your lane and not maintaining an assured clear distance from the car in front of you. Also, it is illegal to drive while texting, surfing the internet, checking Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.

Driver: But officer. I wasn't on my phone. Seriously. I would never drive illegally.

Officer: Okay. Then if you must play with yourself, please pull over. Don't drive distracted.

Because, you know, if you are driving with one hand on the steering wheel and the other is in your lap, and your attention is focused on that hand in said lap, you are either on your phone or playing with yourself.

Do us a favor: If you are doing either, please pull over and finish. Your vehicle weighs (on average) between 2,979 and 4,366 pounds (1,354 and 1,985 kilograms). If you are driving 40 mph (since I'm sure 35 mph is just a suggested speed limit) (oh, and this stat comes from www.driveandstayalive.com), it will take about 120 FEET to come to a complete stop on DRY pavement (that includes 40 feet just thinking about stopping - when you ARE paying attention).

Please don't be an idiot or a pervert. Drive!

©Emittravel 2019

Stuff My Brain Says #22

In recent news, a person has been arrested for “hacking” into celebrities’ cell phone accounts; most notably for obtaining and distributing nude pictures of Scarlett Johansson. Apparently, Ms. Johansson took semi-naked pictures of herself with her cell phone – wrapped in a towel and taking pictures of her exposed backside in a mirror.

Should this person, if found guilty, be punished? Absolutely. Yet, I can’t feel too much remorse for morons who take nude pictures of themselves with a cell phone – for crying out loud! If you really feel the need to take pictures of your posterior, use a camera – and storage – that CAN’T be “hacked”.

When I was a kid, I asked my brother why he was locking the doors to his car while in the driveway. At the time, that was a pretty safe place to leave it unlocked. He said, “To keep the honest people honest.” If you don’t want your privates publicized, use that melon on top of your shoulders once in awhile and think!

On the bright side, Scarlett Johansson, a name I had NEVER heard of until this “scandal”, has received free publicity. And for a celebrity, there is no such thing as BAD publicity. And think of it, Scarlett, you even made it to this blog. Woo hoo!

© Emittravel 2011