What's the Big Ideal?

I have a friend who "leaks". Let me explain.

This weekend my wife and I attended the wedding of a wonderful couple: Shaun and Jessica. Lisa and I have known Shaun for a number of years. Shaun and I go back to before Lisa and I got together (over ten years ago). We've shared both times of joy and times of pain. The "highlights" and the "lowlights". Shaun is an "ideal" man. He is tall, handsome, has great hair, is physically fit, plays sports, and works hard. And he "leaks".

At one of our Memorial Day picnics, Shaun came with Jessica. Jessica. Talk about an angel. Jessica is sweet, gentle, funny, beautiful (she has the most amazing eyes), caring, and is in love with Shaun. And Shaun is in love with Jessica. Did I mention he "leaks"?

I said Shaun was the "ideal" man. In the eyes of society, he is. In my eyes, he is that and much more. Shaun is one of those rare men who is not afraid to wear his heart on his sleeve. When he is happy, he smiles so big it looks like his face would break. When he is angry, you instinctively know to give him space. And when he is in sorrow, he is not afraid to cry. And it is that unashamed ability to shed tears that makes him more than the "ideal".

What is it about tears? Why do we cry? I heard it said that the reason we do is because we are experiencing an emotion so tremendous that our very being can't contain it. And we "leak".

When the doors opened and Jessica stepped into the church, Shaun's face showed his awe, his love, and all the pent-up emotions that came to fruition at that moment.

And he "leaked".

Shaun and Jessica: May you walk each day unashamed of who you are and who you are together: never hiding what's in your hearts. May you continue to love each other with all of your beings with such intensity that those moments come when words fail. And you simply "leak". God bless you, my friends.

-j.p.

© Emittravel 2015

The Big Five-Oh

Back in August I received my first birthday card of the year. Now, two important points: One, my birthday wasn't for two months, and two, it was from AARP.

The only birthday I've ever had "difficulty" with was my thirtieth. I don't know why. I remember turning to my father and saying, "Remember when you were my age, you had me." He quickly replied, "Don't remind me." My father and I are almost exactly thirty years apart. So, that was a one-time joke.

Thirty was tough. At that point I was out of school, had served in the Navy, and was married (to my ex). We had a house, bills, and a barely paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle. I guess when I looked at it, I didn't really have much to look forward to, and a lot to look back upon. I didn't have any regrets, just a sense of loss for the big life changes that seemed to have passed.

Forty was no big deal. Just another birthday come and gone. It's supposed to be the year of "over the hill" gifts (at least that was what I see in the local Hallmark store), but I didn't feel any different. I've mentioned before that I don't really see time as having passed, since I’m always looking at the world through the same "port holes".

This year? This year I get on the AARP mailing list. Great (that's sarcasm, in case you missed it). This year I can seriously consider that more of my life has passed than is before me. The chances of reaching 100 get better and better each year (I think there are more centenarians around today than in all of recorded history), but the chances of this guy reaching it aren't as likely.

(I just read the above to my wife, because I'm a bit stuck on where to go from here. She asked a good question: "Why?" My parents are both "up there" in age, and are both doing great. They are beating the odds gracefully. So, maybe my chances are better than I thought. I have SUCH a good wife!)

I can honestly say that I’m not anxious about turning fifty. I’m loving where life has taken me, and am looking forward to the trip ahead. There are many twists and turns, hills and valleys, and highways and byways to experience. There is so much to look forward to, and I'm prepared to revel in all that life brings.

Now, if only AARP would leave me alone!

© Emittravel 2015

The Future is Now



In 1987, Alex Murphy was taking criminals "dead or alive" in "Robocop". I remember watching it for the first time (oh yeah, many times over the years) and seeing the scene in the Detroit police department locker room where both men and women were in various stages of undress (and no, I'm NOT posting a pic). The reason the scene got my attention, outside of the women in various stages of undress (I admit, I AM a straight male), was that both sexes were oblivious to the fact that the opposite sex was there in various stages of undress. I'll say that again: they were oblivious to the fact. It was normal. Just another day. And I wondered: what would it take to get us from "here" to "there"?

What I mean by "here" is a society that still has difficulty with male and female equality in all of its various forms (think "equal pay", for example), dress codes that determine the length of a woman's skirt and whether or not a man wears a necktie, and what gender "Pat" is.

Then one day it hit me. I finally figured out that unknown bridge: transgenderism.

Transgender people are throwing all kinds of confusion into "normal" society. Recently, an elementary school hit the news because a boy, who has determined himself to be a girl, has decided that she didn't want to use the teachers' or unisex bathroom, but decided to use the girls' bathroom. Both students and parents were up in arms, and the school made the statement that students are to use bathrooms that match their "plumbing" (my word, not theirs). I know of a business where an employee who presents himself as female, wants to use the ladies restroom as well. That business determined that if the employee is presenting himself/herself as a certain gender, they are able to use the bathroom that coincides with said gender. Part of the decision was based on the fact that the toilets are in stalls with doors, and the urinals have dividers (and I have never seen, in all my 49+ years, another male attempt to look past the divider - ever!): no one sees anyone in any form of undress. And does anyone really care the gender of the person at the next sink washing their hands? Hell, I'm just happy when people wash their hands. Of course, that business hasn't determined locker room/shower room use, but they will have to address it soon.

Having the opposite sex "invade" your bathroom is nothing new. Anyone who has been to a concert at the former Richfield Coliseum (I saw my first concert, Billy Joel - from A Piano Man to An Innocent Man - at that coliseum) has seen women skip the long lines for the ladies' room and grab a stall in the men's room. We guys noticed, but again, the stalls had doors. But now, that "invasion" is starting to become the "norm". (I noticed that I use a lot of quotation marks in my blogs. I wonder what the significance of "that" is . . . )

So for good or ill, trans genders are here to stay, so society needs to adjust.

According to an article by Jocelyne Zablit, "a California elementary school has become one of the first in the country to phase out gendered bathrooms". They are not adding a unisex bathroom; they are getting rid of those male and female silhouette-signed bathrooms.

Society is beginning to adjust.

Ally McBeal was the first to address a unisex bathroom (that I'm aware of), and that was back in the late 1990s. It was a novel idea that became a mainstay in the course of the series. And as has been said, good fiction soon becomes fact.

So, the future is now. We are slowly setting aside our long-held "hang ups" (there are those damn quotation marks again) and are beginning to allow the natural progression of society to become whatever it decides to be. And I think that is a good thing.

First unisex bathrooms, and next: silver jumpsuits!

  

(The above video is a clip from the 2002 Simon Wells film, "The Time Machine". That's right, Simon Wells: the great-grandson of H.G. Wells, the author of the book of the same name.)

© Emittravel 2015

Stuff My Brain Says #75

Flip Wilson is famous for the line, "The Devil made me do it". Many Christians also believe the devil talks to them. I believe God speaks to us via His Holy Spirit. The devil, not having a similar representation of himself, does not speak to us in the same manner. The devil is neither omniscient, omnipotent, nor omnipresent. Most of those "negative" voices we hear are our own, influenced by our fallen nature and sin. Others are memories of things spoken to us by people from our past.

Christians need to stop giving the devil more power than he already has. That may be useful to fire up a congregation to throw more in the offering plate, but it's not valid.

© Emittravel 2015

Enough About Me. What do YOU Think About Me?

So, here's the real question: Why do we think we are invincible?

This is part three of a three-part series that focuses on the selfishness so prevalent in the human condition. (Please see "Down in Front!" and "The Invincibles".) My question is, why DO we think ourselves invincible?

(I'm going to refer to the bible in this article. Just so those who haven't been reading my blog regularly are aware, I've recently finished a sabbatical. During the sabbatical I had come to the personal conclusion that the bible is not THE word of God, but contains the word of God, and therefore should be treated more like a guide book than law.)

The bible mentions that God has placed "eternity in our hearts" (Ecclesiastes 3:1). What does that mean? We all have this concept of existence, and we have no concept of "not". Let me put it this way: have you ever contemplated what it would mean to NOT exist? To have no consciousness? "But J.P., that happens every time I go to sleep." Actually, you still have a form of consciousness, most commonly known as "unconscious". Unconscious is to be "under conscious" - below that of full consciousness - not without conscious. During sleep we even dream (whether or not you remember them).

You cannot NOT exist in your mind. You cannot recall existence before you were aware of it, nor can you comprehend the concept of not existing. Atheists may claim that we cease to exist upon death, but they themselves cannot comprehend not existing! It has been considered that those in comas are still aware of their environments, even though they are incapable of interacting with that environment.

I’m hitting 50 this year. The big 'ol half a century. But to be honest, I don't see myself as aging. Why? Because I still look through the same port holes (my eyes - former Navy guy). I'm still surprised every time I see my nieces (amazing how they've grown!). Why? Because, I haven't changed. Oh, I can look in the mirror and see that the years have passed, but again, the bible mentions that it's like a man who looks in a mirror and after turning away quickly forgets what he saw (James 1:23, 24). Since we are always looking through our eyes, and not at ourselves WITH our eyes, we forget the changes that time has wrought. And I'm not even going to mention the grey hair that the dark towel collects when I trim my beard!

It is in this very method of viewing life through our eyes that emphasizes the selfishness we exhibit. The only existence is ours, and the only view that matters is ours. There is a concept that says we cannot consider more than about 150 people around us as "real". Outside of that, people become an incomprehensible entity. No more "real" than those on the screens of our favorite movie theater. We may feel "sorry" for those in crisis, but it is another thing entirely to be truly "empathetic" towards them.

And since life itself is viewed only through our own eyes, it is easy to disregard the hazards experienced by others as having any impact upon us. We are "invincible".

Now, you'll have to excuse me. I need to find my cane. My leg is bothering me again.

© Emittravel 2015

The Invincibles

(Note: As I type this blog, there is a red squiggly line under the title. That word does not exist. As a matter of fact, neither do those it describes.)

As a continuation of last week's blog post, I wanted look a little deeper into the concept that there isn't just one "Me" generation; that many people could be described in such a manner.

Last week I focused on those individuals who arrive late to a church service and make a "show" of their entrance. That mentality goes well beyond those sacred halls. There is a selfishness that goes beyond the "I'm more important than you", and rises (or falls?) to "I’m above that".

Let me explain. People think they are indestructible. Invincible. That no matter how much evidence to the contrary, they are immune to the hazards of life. It's one thing when that mentality only affects the individual, it is another entirely when it affects those around you - even putting them in danger.

There is the guy who stands outside of the funeral home to grab a quick cigarette break, while inside there is a casket with his father who died of emphysema. "My dad died from smoking, but that won't happen to me. I know I should quit, but . . . you know."

There is the lady who drives down the freeway with her head in her lap - checking her most recent Facebook activity, or reading that oh-so-important text message, or responding to one with those emoji's that are a matter of life-altering importance to the recipient - believing that if she doesn't hold up her phone no one will know.

I would like to refer you to a recent blog post from my darling wife that talks about those "morons" (my word, not hers) who would rather focus on that little 4.7" screen, than focus through that huge piece of glass in front of them. Please take a moment to read her post and click on the video she linked to at the end. It was watching that video that helped spawn these last two posts of mine.

Apparently, it doesn't matter how much evidence is presented, or laws are passed, people will still live like they are John Travolta in a bubble, protected from the hazards that affect only those "others". The American Lung Association used to show human lungs after years of smoking on their commercials. Didn't do a damn thing. You still see people huddled around their little embers, sucking ionized radiation into their lungs, with temperatures outside that are well below freezing. Smoking only hurts the "other guy". There are commercials (like the one my wife linked to in her blog post - don't forget to read it!) showing the hazards of the driver with more than driving on the mind. Or worse, driving like they've starred in every "The Fast and the Furious" movie.

I remember a bumper sticker once that said something similar to "Please don't risk my life by driving so you can arrive someplace three minutes faster."

© Emittravel 2015

Down in Front!

Now that I've been attending church again (albeit, not all that frequently), I find I'm amazed at just how distracting people are. The pastor made a comment years ago that when this church started it was the perfect church . . . then the first people walked in (that was a joke - really!) One of the concessions that my wife and I agreed to was that she would attend with me (she was attending a local Catholic church while I was on my sabbatical), as long as I didn't "force" her to sit in the first row.

The first row. The dreaded, mostly empty, first row. A place I've been accustomed to planting my keister for many a year. I have never sat there with an air of "better than thou". I have sat there because I'm so easily distracted. Even back in school I'd sit in the front row. I'm the same with televisions. I actually hate dining in establishments with televisions on. Don't be surprised if I ever ask you to please turn yours off while visiting. I want to give you my undivided attention, and I'm just unable to do that with the damn thing on.

So, I'm accustomed to sitting in the front row. But now, we are in the fifth row from the front, sitting at the end of the row (I've been having a lot of on and off trouble with my knee/leg, and being able to stretch it out helps), and I find people are so annoying.

At this church, the service starts with about 20 minutes or so of (praise and worship) music, followed by a new visitor welcome, a meet and greet, the offering, and then the sermon. As I said, the service STARTS with about 20 minutes or so of music. The service doesn't start with the sermon. Do you hear me people who like to come in three-quarters of the way through the music?!? The music is part of the service. Those songs are not the trailers before the main feature. It's one thing to come in late to a movie and miss a couple of trailers. It is another thing entirely to come in after the main feature has started. I have rarely, if ever, seen anyone come in after the movie has begun. Why? Because nobody would come in late to a movie! So, why do people come in late for a church service?

I've written before about the purpose of the music at the beginning of a service. It is a time to prepare your heart and mind for God - to set aside your burdens and put yourself in a position to truly commune with Him. When people come in late, they disturb those at the end of the aisle - because they want those coveted middle seats - with "Hi!"s and "How are you!"s, taking people out of their spiritual "moment" and forcing them to give THEM attention.

(Being a couple of rows back, and being so easily distracted, I can't help but be pulled out of MY spiritual "moment" either!)

Listen! Why don't you get your ass up out of bed 15 minutes earlier so you get yourself all dolled up and get into your precious seat and not disturb other people who have come to church instead of the local golf course to commune with God. If you can't spare that extra 15 minutes of sleep, don't come in! Go and get your "slam" at the local Denny's instead.

We should get the ushers to close the doors once the service has started, and refuse to let anyone in!


Bruce Campbell, a.k.a. "the man!" in Spider-Man 2

Maybe it's just a part of the nondenominational/charismatic/Protestant mentality. I've never seen anyone ever come in late to a Catholic service. Oh, they've left early all right, just never came in late.

Or maybe if they served popcorn . . .

© Emittravel 2015