Thursday, July 17, 2014

Stuff My Brain Says #71

In the course of three short conversation topics I found a common theme.

In one topic, the person I was speaking with mentioned only relaxing (in reference to vacations) during time at a pool or a massage. I told the person I can't relax in a massage, because I'm afraid that if I do I might pee myself (and now so will you!).

In the next topic, I mentioned I don't like going to movie theaters, because you can't pause the movie to go to the bathroom (we even pause TV shows on Netflix or DVD at least once - not necessarily to pee; sometimes we are putting in, not putting out ... ).

In the third topic, I told of riding my motorcycle home from work. I wear chaps when I'm not wearing jeans, so most rides to and from work I wear chaps over the dress pants. One day I'm riding and a large storm cloud comes across in front of me. I'm thinking, "Holy crap, I'm going to get soaked." Just as the storm cloud passes, and I breathe a sigh of relief for missing it, the rain comes down and I get soaked. Okay, not necessarily soaked: I'm wearing chaps. Now, chaps cover your legs well, but they do not cover your butt, nor the area that is not considered your butt (front). So, when I get home and take off my chaps, my legs are dry; my butt is dry; my crotch looks like I pissed me a river.

Maybe it's the fact that as we get older, we tend to focus on life's "basic functions". Maybe, and maybe not. Either way I've come to the conclusion that I may not be only mentally incompetent, but I'm also mentally incontinent.

© Emittravel 2014

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