Sunday, January 7, 2018

You Should Trust Our Technology - Even If We Don’t

My wife and I took a trip to the lovely state of Utah last summer. We spent time with good friends at Nerdtacular and hit all five National Parks during our two-week stay.

Upon our arrival home I noticed that a $200 pair of sunglasses were missing from my checked luggage. Being obviously upset, I contacted both the airline and the TSA (Transportation Security Administration). I had placed the sunglasses into my luggage, checked it at the counter, and waved “goodbye” to it as it was handed over to the TSA.

I had contacted both, because it could easily have been accessed by someone from either group.

The TSA representative on the phone told me that IF the TSA had inspected my bag, they would have left a note saying they had done so. Since there was no such note, the TSA clearly did not inspect my bag. The representative then told me that, since I cannot lock my bag to prevent theft, I should either use cable ties (that can be cut by the TSA to inspect) or a TSA-approved lock - where they have a key that will open it.

A couple of things here. First, if someone is going to rob your house, do they normally leave a note explaining that they did it (including WHO)? If I was going to rob your house, I certainly wouldn’t leave a calling card! This isn’t a “B” movie from the 1970s! It’s more obvious that someone, even under the pretense of an “official” TSA inspection, saw something they wanted, took it, and did not leave a note.

Second, isn’t the argument why a TSA-approved lock isn’t appropriate the same as giving the government/police a “back door” to the encryption on your phone? If there is a key that can unlock any TSA-approved lock, than wouldn’t that be “hackable” - by anyone?!?

On Christmas Day, my wife and I flew out of Cleveland and went to Ft. Myers. Her folks are retired and live there, so we try to get there as often as possible. We DO NOT want them here (Cleveland) in the winter. You know, we LOVE them!

When we arrived at her parents’ house and we started to unpack, I found the following:


Yup! My bag was inspected by the TSA. The funny part is the first paragraph (and is the purpose of this blog post):

“To protect you and your fellow passengers, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is required by law to inspect all checked baggage. As part of this process, some bags are opened and physically inspected. Your bag was among those selected for physical inspection.”

So, in order to “protect” me and my fellow passengers, the TSA is required by law to inspect ALL checked baggage. How do they do this? Well, they run it through a scanner. Much like they use for your carry on.

The scanner does not work. Why? IF the scanner worked, they wouldn’t have to physically inspect a bag. BECAUSE they physically inspect some bags, they admit the scanner does not work. If it did work, they would not have to physically inspect them.

But, I thought they do this to “protect you and your fellow passengers”? They don’t. If they did give a rat’s ass about us, they would inspect EVERY bag (as required by law). They don’t. They randomly pick a few and inspect them. Why should they inspect EVERY bag? Because they admit that the scanner does not work!

Apparently, the TSA inspectors are all multi-million-dollar lottery winners who pick winning tickets EVERY time. Because, if a plane holds about 140 people, with each person checking about 1.5 bags each (my wife and I normally check one bag each, though we see plenty of people in line with more than two), that means about 210 items are run through the useless TSA scanner for each flight. Then, out of the 210, maybe a half-dozen (generous assumption) get physically inspected. That means only one of every 35 bags are inspected. I’m not a math genius, but the odds of a “hot” bag getting by TSA is pretty good. And they do this in order to “protect” us.

I’m reminded of the classic movie “Airplane!” that came out in 1980. There is a scene in the airport security line where people are passing through a metal detector. There is an inspector watching a monitor. As men pass through the detector you see them walk by on the monitor. When a beautiful woman walks through, the image on the monitor is the woman walking through completely naked. Then a bunch of bearded men come through in camouflage, carrying rifles and bazookas. They pass right through. Then a little-old-lady walks through, the alarms go off, the guards grab her, slam her against the wall, and body search her. Meanwhile, more men with weapons pass through without setting off the alarms.

For a movie from 1980, when it came to safety and security technology, they weren’t that far off...

© Emittravel 2018

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