Knowing Another

Knowing Another

May I be graced by God to know the love of one,
To opportune the chance to love;
Experience the joy
and intense sorrow
That comes from a lifetime,
though cut far too short;
A "soul-mate" to share life's burdens
(to fortune to carry that of the other).
To sing
  cry
shout
whisper
weep
scream
pass on to another,
The meaning of life that God may bestow,
by knowing another in such a manner as this.

J.P. Wiegand

©Emittravel 2004

Back in 2004, a lady I worked with showed me part of a poem that described the love she had for her late husband. This wonderful lady, aged in body only, shared with me a part of her heart; a love that transcends "till death do us part". It was from this inspiration that the above came to be. Now, you have a part of my heart. -j.p.

©Emittravel 2018

To Know the Known

To Know the Known

Who is this God that I follow?

Who am I to follow Him?

To inspire song.

To comfort in sorrow.

To cradle the face of a child.

To wipe the tears from eyes

strained towards heaven.

In somber solitude I seek to abandon,

to achieve what I am unable to grasp.

To let go of the here,

to obtain the Now.

I am awed in Your presence.

Totally at peace in my frustration

for that of which eludes me.

When I think I’ve come to an understanding,

You turn and I am struck dumb.

I glimpse at Your glory and collapse.

Unable to behold Your beauty.

Your splendor.

Sinful.

Arrogant.

I claim to hold a stallion by the reins;

to find I hold an ass.

The reins in my hand

steer the bit in my own mouth.

I long to know the Known.

To hold a piece of eternity.

Fallen man I am.

I discard the pride of reason

to become the fool of God.

To let go of achievement

for the brokenness of the humble.

Who is this God that I follow?

And who am I to follow Him?

 

J.P. Wiegand

© Emittravel 1999

It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything about my spiritual journey. Many of you who have been reading my blog know that I was a very involved member of a church for YEARS. I took a sabbatical from October 2014 until about May of 2015. You’ll find much of my experience leading up to and during expressed here.

I returned to that church after the end of my sabbatical until the end of September. Since then I’ve been “churchless”. I’ve had the wonderful opportunity to join with friends at their church to play in their worship team since then, but at this point I’ve no “desire” to become a regular church goer. What does the future hold? I’m not sure. This is still a journey, and I’m still a traveler on it.

The above poem was initially published to www.renderosity.com in January of 2007. The comment below accompanied it. I think it is still relevant:

Religion: from the word "religare" meaning "to tie back" or "strangle". The balancing act of faith in God, and mindless obedience to a religion. For me this is a lifelong struggle; the desire to know God, versus the arrogance of my own humanity. Do you seek to love someone JUST for what they can do for you? That's manipulation. If it doesn't work that way on Earth, why would we think it would work in the heavenlies? Just a thought. -j.p.

© Emittravel 2017

In Your Embrace

The following was originally posted on Renderosity.com on September 19, 2005:

In Your Embrace

Warm hands.

Soft skin.

Tender heart.

I lose myself

(and find myself)

deep in your embrace.

You’ve captured

my thoughts,

and made them

your own.

So much alike,

in love and ideas.

A mirror image

that’s a window to the soul.

If I be asleep,

and you just a dream,

smother my life,

that the dream might not end.

Be this the guidance

of simple fantasy,

or the loving hand

of the Lord above,

I pursue you with vigor.

To surrender my heart,

place them as one.

So one may nourish

the other

(So the other may nourish

the one).

That the two will blossom

on a single stem.

Let me hold you in my arms,

to feel the beat of your heart.

For mine grows faster;

enquickened with love.

When you look into my eyes,

press your lips softly to mine,

and hold me deep

in your embrace.

J.P. Wiegand

© Emittravel 1989

The words you have just read describe the woman I'm about to spend the rest of my life with. She is truly an answer to my prayers. For years now, I have prayed, "Lord, prepare me for my mate, as you prepare her for me." I've (jokingly) thought that she MUST need a lot of work - it was taking so long! (The truth of the matter? It was I who needed the work.) At our 20 year reunion, Lisa and I connected. We knew OF each other in high school, but didn't KNOW each other. Since our reunion, we have definitely gotten to each know one another. So close we have become, that on Friday, September 16th, I proposed marriage - and she (I'm humbled to say) accepted my proposal and has agreed to honor me as my wife.

This one is for you, my love! I give you my forever - this day and always. With all of my heart I am yours. You are the sweetest poem ever written. I am in awe of you. I love you! -j.p.

© Emittravel 2017

Writer's Block

Writer’s Block

Must have been my fifth cup of coffee.

I lost count after number two.

I sit here with pen in hand.

Fighting “writer’s block”.

I want to write something special for you.

You’re very beautiful.

Very mysterious.

Very intriguing.

Deep brown eyes.

Long dark hair.

A smile that warms my blood.

And a gentle laugh that is sometimes difficult to procure.

Every time I open my mouth I can taste my Nike’s.

No,

they don’t taste so good.

Each spoken word is difficult and always sounds wrong.

How do I please?

How do I intrigue (like she)?

What steps must I take to walk into her life?

I’m afraid to get too close to her door.

I fear the breeze from its slam.

So I sit here talking to myself on paper.

Trying to figure which words are the right words.

Maybe I should just sit quiet and watch.

And listen.

Maybe she feels the same.

Maybe she doesn’t.

One thing I know,

that I am sure of is,

I need a new pair of shoes...

these taste lousy.

J.P. Wiegand

©Emittravel 1988

Written while sitting in a donut shop shortly after getting out of the Navy, looking at an incredibly beautiful lady behind the counter.

Yes, I was having a bit of writer's block at the time, but decided that writing the "block" would be a novel idea.

No, I didn't get the girl.

Getting "tongue-tied" around beautiful women seems to be an ongoing dilemma for me. I either say nothing, or I put my foot in it.

I should stick with saying nothing...

-j.p.

©Emittravel 2017

Rest Assured

I dropped my wife off at the Cleveland Hopkins Airport this morning around 04:30. She is spending a week with her parents in Ft. Myers. It's my birthday gift to her. 

For the rest of the week I'll be on my own. It didn't take too long for me to start reflecting on how much I'm going to miss her. 

Even though I'm confident in our love, and have been for a long time, I felt it right to share that confidence with her. The following was written for Sweetest Day a few years ago. It's rather appropriate I share it here. You may want to take a moment to share the confidence of love you have with that someone special in your life too. Nothing like it. -j.p. ©Emittravel 2016

Rest Assured

Sometimes I tell you how much I love you

Sometimes I don’t

But rest assured

At all times

I do love you

Sometimes I hold you close to me

Sometimes I don’t

But rest assured

At all times

I long to hold you

Sometimes I share what is in my heart with you

Sometimes I don’t

But rest assured

At all times

Every heartbeat cries out to tell you what is inside

I love you

I long to hold you

My heart cries out for you

Each and every day

Sometimes I show you how important you are to me

Sometimes I don’t

But rest assured

At all times

I would never want to live without you

Rest assured

J.P. Wiegand

©Emittravel 2007

One Desire Above All

Going through some old posts to Renderosity.com and found one of my poems that seems to only exist on that site. I took a moment to save it in my library and decided to share it with you here. I'm not exactly sure when it was written, so I'm using the date it was posted. 

The notes at the bottom are exactly as written on the site. Please realize that I'd later come to the realization that you have to be content with who you are, and the fact that you may never find someone to share your life with, before you are honestly ever ready for that special someone. In other words, the desperation must be gone - because like fear, it can be sensed. And no one desires to be the object of THAT.

Enjoy. -j.p.

©Emittravel 2016

One Desire Above All

The one thing I desire
in all of life
Is to hold an angel
and call her my wife
To share in romance
to walk in her light
One being together
entwined through the night

The sound of her voice
the touch of her hand
One look from her eyes
and I’m hers to command
To focus my efforts
to please her - to show
Satisfy her longing
of true love to know

My angel is out there
I can sense she is close
Each day my eyes searching
my heart writing prose
One day I shall meet her
the searching shall end
A soul-mate, companion
an intimate friend

Is this hunger I have
that consumes my existence
Passion never failing
worthy of persistence
So, my dear Angel
I’ve one question for thee
As you go through your day
are you searching for me

J.P. Wiegand

5/26/05

Hope. Full of hope. Unsure of the future, but still full of hope. Some of you have already found your angel--with you I rejoice. For others the search continues--with you I hope.

The image is of a young lady I once knew. I don't think she will mind my using her image--she IS now an angel in the truest sense of the word. (I miss you!)

This one is dedicated to my dad; who believes it's not a poem if it doesn't rhyme. Here's one for ya Papasan! -j.p.

©Emittravel 2005

If I Could Tell You I Love You

 

 

If my heart could sing,
what would be the song?
Would it whisper like the flutter
of a nightingale’s wing;
soft and adoring
with hushed kindness?
Or would it roar like a lion,
with uncontrolled passion?
Both sung with heart enthralled
and soul aflame.

 

If I could tell you a story,
what would be the tale?
Adventurous and bold,
of brave deeds and chivalry?
Or a romance which tells
of sweet gentle caress?
Both told with damp brow
and trembling lips.

 

If I could write you a poem,
what would be the prose?
Would I write you a limerick,
to make you smile and laugh with joy?
Or would it be filled with passion
and sweet words of adoration;
to enhance,
perhaps,
a sigh from your lips,
and a tear to float down
your cheek?

 

If I could tell you my feelings,
what could I say?
I have yet to unravel
the many emotions
which weigh my heart
in troubled uncertainty.
For though I love you sincerely,
from deep in my breast,
I know not your feelings in return.

 

If I sang you a song,
or told you a story,
or even proclaimed my love in verse,
would you not love me in return?
Or would you scorn me for my
presumptuous ways,
and bade me farewell
for all eternity?

 

I am so afraid
to tell you I love you.
For if spoken or written,
the dream might soon perish.
Yet my heart holds too much.
So to you I must proclaim
that “I love you”;
and pause to consider
the boldness of my deed.
May it not be that told
to a fleeting shadow,
but a warm hand
and loving heart.

 

J.P. Wiegand

© Emittravel 1987

This one can be described as pouring out your heart to the woman you love, telling her your dreams and ambitions ... then replacing the picture upon the mantle.

The attempt here is to conjure up as poetic an image possible, without being bogged-down by the sappiness of the moment.

The photo was taken of a perfect stranger sitting along a river's edge. The contrasts captivated me. The breathlessness of the moment pulled me in. What is she thinking? Who is she thinking of?

For the reader: Is there someone who holds your heart, but they don't know it? Maybe it is time to tell them! -j.p.

© Emittravel 2015

Just a Blink of an Eye

A single breath in passing

A moment and it's gone

A thought grasped but slipping

The pain it feels so wrong

We focus on the moment

Each life to us we face

Soon buried in the rubble

Forever be the chase

To hang on one more second

To make each minute count

Find peace in single hour

Last day for each surmount

What drives the inside hunger

The pangs for just one more

To glean the effervescence

Of lives beyond three score

To find the hope and beauty

To cling to love and mate

To live beyond the total

Escape the claws of fate

If I said "goodbye" now

Left the sand and rust

Would tomorrow forget me

In beams of light like dust

I reach for words of meaning

To share with what I've found

But through my tears I'm humbled

My voice has lost its sound

For each life is but passing

Each friendship one day cease

No value found in fighting

In acceptance is found peace

J.P. Wiegand

© Emittravel 2015

I was reading a blog that talked of how fleeting our lives actually are; in the grand scheme of the universe. There was a deep ache that formed in me and I needed to express it.

Have you ever noticed that you exist? Can you remember a time when you didn't? No wonder we can't imagine not existing in the future. We hunger for life after death - or more appropriately, never-ceasing life. We exercise, Botox, pray, and smear things on ourselves, all in order to keep the Not-So-Pleasant Reaper from knocking on our doors.

One who lives a philosophy that all there is is the now of life, is living such a life in misery - in my humble but accurate opinion. -j.p.

© Emittravel 2015

No Costume Required

(The below was written and posted to a site long before I started this blog. I am (re)posting it here for your enjoyment. It includes the original description notes at the end. -j.p.)

You said the words:
"Good bye"
and my heart broke.
I could almost hear it shatter.

 

No last kiss.
No last embrace.
I miss your taste;
the feel of you in my arms.
The softness of your hair against my cheek.

 

I ache for you.
Tears have yet to dry.
I long to go into hiding;
run from everyone.
I want to be alone;
yet being without you makes me alone in a crowd.

 

So,
I am disguising myself.
You wouldn't recognize me.
If we meet at a party you would pass me by.
I am going as a "broken heart".
No costume required.

 

J.P. Wiegand

© Emittravel 2003

Originally this started as a concept for a greeting card; sort of an "I Miss You / Halloween" type. The card would have had a picture of a person with a large heart (like those "The world is coming to an end" signs) on the front with the line: "This Halloween I'm going as a broken heart"; on the inside would simply be the words: "No costume required."

The person? Same lady as "Wrapped in Unconditional Love". In this case,
time does NOT heal all wounds. -j.p.

© Emittravel 2014

Wrapped in Unconditional Love

This was the most painful poem I've ever written. Between each phrase I paced the floor and sobbed - not wept; sobbed. It seemed to take forever to express the ache.

It took four months for me to sit and write after that. I just didn't have the courage to put myself through it again.

-j.p.

© Emittravel 2014

Wrapped in Unconditional Love

 

Love

Overwhelming

All consuming

Beyond anything ever known before

Every thought

Every passion

Every breath

Focused on one

One

Beautiful

All encompassing

Beyond anyone ever known before

Every word

Every motion

Every breath

The focus of my existence

Unattainable

I cry out with love

But you are gone

I seek you

I search for you

But you are not there

You stand before me

But you are far away

You long for another

Shutting me out

My heart reaches forth

Grasping the air

Wanting nothing but you

You smile and turn away

Looking for the love

Of one who has shut YOU out

Does your heart cry for him?

Like mine does for you?

Do you know the pain?

Wrapped in unconditional love?

To hold you again

To proclaim my love for you

As I fall into those eyes once more

Time

Moving

All knowing

Beyond the ability to control

Every desire

Every prayer

Every moment

Waiting just for you

J.P. Wiegand

© Emittravel 2003

The Light of the Moon

I’m writing you this

in the light of the moon,

under the stars

and dark of night.

Alone on the sea,

With nothing but the waves

striking my vessel.

The breeze is warm;

that which gently moves my hair.

And the sound of the earth

fills my soul

with solitude.

There is nothing to bother,

nothing to hamper,

the peace of night

on the ocean.

Yet,

in the midst

of all this beauty,

a cloud covers

the light of the moon,

and darkness fills the night.

My vision fades to that

which can be seen

by the sparseness of stars,

that still peer

through the shadow.

And with the darkness

that encompasses all,

comes the knowledge of the breeze,

in its never-ending movement,

that shall remove the cloud

from its path,

and once again fill the void

with that

of the light of the moon.

Oh how much does this,

this vision of mine eyes,

reflect an overpowering likeness,

of that

which envelopes our love.

I sit here

in the light of your love,

under the beauty

of God’s divine power.

Alone with myself,

with nothing but the thoughts of you

striking (oh so gently) my heart.

The time is slow,

that which gently moves our lives,

and the sound of my heart

fills my soul

with loneliness.

There is nothing to disturb,

nothing to hinder,

the peace of love

in my heart.

Yet,

in the midst

of all this love,

a cloud covers

the joy in my heart,

and despair fills my soul.

My hope fades to that

which can be hoped

with what love

that could survive,

through this cloud

which is separation.

And with the loneliness

that envelopes my being,

comes the knowledge of time,

in its never-ending movement,

that shall bring us together,

and once again fill the void

with that

of the light of the moon.

J.P. Wiegand

© Emittravel 1985

This one is kind of long, but it was written in two stages. The first portion was written while sitting on the deck, off the port side, of the USS Elrod (FFG-55) - you'll notice in the picture the "motor-whale boat" in the upper left portion of the shot. This part was actually written EXACTLY the way it took place. I went back in to finish the second portion due to lack of light.

The photo was taken back in 1986 while our ship was in the Caribbean. The USS Elrod has recently finished her last deployment and will be decommissioned. -j.p.

© Emittravel 2014